Green Skirt Green Hat

Lalala, green skirt, green hat.
Lalala, write hard, don't get fat.
Lalala, sexy times, come to those,
Lalala, those who think ahead,
Lalala, and write song lyrics.
Lalala, Lalala, Lalala, Lalala...

Yes. That was amazing.

There's more! But I won't write it because I want to leave it to your imagination.

That's the point of writing, right?

Here's the reason I'm a writer, even when I let my imagination go a little bit too far, there's always a way to bring it back and make it work. It's also a 100% True Fact that a lot of people like when imaginations go a bit too far. I just want it to be one of mine.

I've got three different kinds of imagination. The Good Kind, which is dull, The Bad Kind, which is...bad, and the Great Kind, which is what happens when I've got over the first two. Unlike what all the cool kids say to do, I do force my imagination into line, using whips.

The whips are made of cream cheese. It's mindcurdling.

I feel terrible, but I'm busy at it. I'm ignoring the terror. I'm ignoring the terror. Wait, why am I ignoring the terror? It's terrorible.

Lalala...

#

She's singing that song up there while she goes trick or treating.

It's Halloween Hijinks!

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*197

The Rickety Plane To Adventure

I walk the line of petty and awesome, careful not to fall too far on either side. My new rule is that I can't call myself a Writer unless I've spent at least 40 hours writing the week before. Unless I was dead, in which case I have more interesting problems.

Have you ever wondered what it'd be like to be a ghost? Huh? My favourite kind of ghost is the friendly kind who just needs people to help it solve the mystery of how she was killed. Those ones are always fun, and there's a little tragedy when the detective realizes he's fallen in love with her but knows that he has to solve the mystery anyways. Then she moves on, blowing a kiss. Single tear.

Hey! The most rickety plane I've ever been on? Yeah, it crashed. Gently. Nobody died, nor did we have to build ourselves another plane to escape the desert. It was in China, though. Missed opportunity there.

Speaking of missed opportunity, I really should be writing more. It's just not fair. I am learning valuable lessons about myself in the process though. So there's that.

Lesson #1
I write better when I'm well-exercised. One way or the other. Still, what that means is I have a whole new plan o' Life Organisation. This also means I will be a super-sexy writer thanks to all the exercise. Watch out ladies.

Lesson #2
I don't wake up fully until 10AM. It's just how it is. Left to myself, my natural schedule is to stay up until just before the sun rises.

Lesson #3
I like lists, but only when I'm making them.

I've decided to spell things the British way in this biog post. I think that's because my computer thinks I'm in Singapore. Did you know that British people spell "blog" with an "i"? That's not true, but that's what the ole' spell checker says.

I'm going to write a story set in England, because I have no experience with England except from stories. Oh, and the English folk I know, I guess. They were all expatriates so they hardly count. MY STORY WILL HAVE PUBS IN.

#

I've migrated to Ubuntu on my netbook because it's awesome and...er...runs GIMP faster than Windows on my netbook. The only thing I use the Windows XP partition specifically for is Microsoft Office. OpenOffice.org failed me for fast ebook formatting.

Sure, I could do it the lame .html way, but I'm not really doing anything fancy.

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*196

Snow And Lack Thereof

I haven't seen snow in two years. It's really impacting my ability to get cover art for stories set in snow, yet I still write stories set in snow because I don't care. Snow is easier to dream about because it uses fewer system resources to render.

Space is like a field of snow. Don't fall asleep or you'll freeze to death. That's Science Fiction, people.

I don't really notice the weather in any case, in the same way as I only notice the time of day because the shops close at inconvenient hours. I prefer to let the world take care of itself while I take care of myself.

Snow!

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Haw haw, Canada has funny snowsuits. Vacations unlimited? More like Dorks...a lot of them!

Take that, past! 

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*195