Dry Spells And The Sorcerer

I have a terrible confession to make: I haven't finished anything in two months. I've written lots of words, but I haven't been enjoying the real, true reason that I write...that is to say: Having Written. "Behold," I like to say, "I wrote that." Nobody wants to know what you're writing. That's the most boring thing you could ever tell anybody. What they want to know is: "Is it done yet?!?" Well, it's not.

Dry Spells

Some finished works are more appreciated than others.

So, I think it's best to call this a "dry spell", because that sounds better than "drought". If the writer is a weather system, there's water out there, but it's just not filling up any particular buckets. Let's try to diagnose, shall we?

Writer's Block
Nope. Do you see all these books I have to write? And that's not even including the short stories that exist in potentia and first paragraphia. No, I currently have more ideas than I can shake a stick at, and they're piling up more and more as I get farther and farther behind. It's very annoying.

Distracted By The Sexy
While this is a fine theory, it seems rude to blame everything on my amazing perfect relationship which is better than yours in every way. Also, sexier. Stop being rude, guys. Even though:

The Sexy

Hmm...

Lack of Sleep
Oh, now I'm just showing off.

Lack of Concentration
There's been a lot of paperwork, uncertainty and background negotiations involved to make my Five Year Plan work, and I've found that it's hard to focus on an invented narrative when I'm trying to make an actual, real-life story come true. But that's not a good enough excuse. I've been busier than this, and still managed to write a whole pile of stories.

Maybe I'm just SCARED
Maybe YOU'RE just scared. Yeah. How's that feel?

Headache
Maybe it's because I have a massive headache on a daily basis for no physical reason. Yeah, that might be part of it. I should drink more coffee.

Writing Block
When I sit down to write at my computer, I don't. Or, that is, I don't get to the sit down to write part. I don't think there's a psychology here...I think I'm just unstable. It'll work out before the New Year.

Anyways, I haven't been inactive. I've got a lot of reading done, a lot of reading. That can't hurt. I feel I should read at least ten books for every one I write. It takes about the same amount of time. I've also been keeping up with the short story magazines, and I've got a whole bunch of logistics worked out.

The only solution is to Write More.

I'm going to do the Write1Sub1 weekly thing in 2012, that'll keep me focused. I'll also be writing at least five book projects in 2012, whether I want to or not. Oog.

The Sorcerer

What the hell? (link)

So, let's leave that aside. The solution is easy, it'll just appear one of these days, and there I'll be: back to my prodigious output. I've got a more interesting problem, which is MAGIC. As a writer, I'm a philosopher-magician, but I prefer the term sorcerer because it's more fun to intone, like so:

SORCERER!

It is a well-known fact amongst sorcerers that they need some influences, so I've decided to take my writing career to the next level by invoking the names of sorcerer-writers of the PAST AND PRESENT. Also, I added adjectives.

I invoke thee:

Stephen King
accessible, popular

Harlan Ellison

challenging, robust

Anne McCaffrey

great characters, settings

Henceforth consider me those three, combined, for the next generation. Thanks!
...now:
Excuse me while I disappear, in cloud of smoke and rustle of cape.
-daB
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Writing: Stability

You can't spell 'stability' without 'ability'. You can't spell 'stability' without 'stab'. I have now linked political science and linguistics. Nobel Prize, please.

Thank you for your contribution, Mr. Barron. Here is a pile of rocks.

In this article, I intend to make a lot of sweeping statements based solely on personal experience. Since I've been doing that for almost three hundred posts, regular readers won't notice any difference and new readers will be amazed at my sexy confidence. And possibly aroused. 

Eh, that'll happen.

In my professional quest to write great fiction as fast as possible using SCIENCE!, I've come to a few conclusions: avoid booze, set a timer, read a lot, have goals, don't write horny, drink plenty of water, exercise indoors, write stories not words, books are long stories... 

Just Write. 

Put that all together, and you should get at least two thousand words a day. "Duh," someone asks, while picking their nose: "How can I, a known moron, put that all together?" Well, my aggressively dim questioner, the key is stability. "How stability?" you ask, to which I reply: "Shut up and let me answer."

My considerable research into the lives of men and Creatives has yielded four 'types':

Unstable Unhappy

Creative: Not Very Prolific

Everybody is born this way, but most people grow out of it. Often leads to brilliant one novel careers (or a small collection of disturbing short stories), followed by despair and/or death. If you find yourself here, get angry and get help. I've never been here longer than a couple weeks because I'm too impatient with misery and have friends who notice shit. Good work, friends! 

Stable Unhappy

Creative: Very Prolific

This is the most common state for the working professional. He's bundled all his neuroses into a ball of creative energy. Possibly self-medicating with booze, etc. Not very healthy, but, then again, neither is working in an office...so it balances out and pays the bills. Since he doesn't have a girlfriend or money in the bank, he has plenty of time to engage in a free, fun activity: Writing. Can spiral down to Unstable Unhappy if there's a lack of friends due to isolation. Keep those friends!

Unstable Happy

Creative: Less Prolific

This is often what happens when the Creative suddenly gets a lot of money or a girlfriend. Or, I suppose, both. It throws off his routine, and thus his writing output. He still has a billion ideas, though. Which, annoyingly, doesn't help. It just makes him feel like he's falling behind in the great game of life. ...but at the same time, he's not. He's actually rather happy. See? Unstable. This is where I am.

Stable Happy

Creative: More Prolific

The elusive ideal. Once the Creative gets used to being happy, he starts exercising and eating right, gets off the self-medication, and grabs the tiger of life by the tail and hangs on. And once you've got a tiger, you need not fear the darkness.

My conclusion, then, is that, for busy Creatives (such as myself), stability is more to be preferred than happiness. Although if you can get them both, good on you.

So how to get them both? Well, you're in luck, because I have created the David Barron Stability Scheme(tm) just for me! And you can use it too! What time is it?

It's Money Love Time!(tm)

Please consult this handy 3-dimensional Cartesian coordinate system (Fig.1)! 

Fig. 1: Money Love Time

x is Time, y is Money, and z is Love, and I've programmed in the types for your convenience. Find your type on it, and then see what you need to get in order to improve. Got no money? Get a damn job! Got no love? Get a girl! Haven't had either long enough to get used to it? WAIT!


...and write.

-daB

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