Sunday, April 8, 2012

Science Fantasy Romance 5 - Ernie Centrifuge, Private Eye


Ernie Centrifuge, Private Eye 
SF005
Available at
Amazon.com * Amazon.co.uk
Smashwords
Kobo * Sony * Diesel
Barnes & Noble
DriveThruFiction

Collected in
A Future Darkly

Blurb
Ernie Centrifuge has to pick up the case where his murdered boss left off, but to save the girl he’ll have to find his selves first.

Memories
before reading
Years ago, I wrote a ridiculously long (and terrible) version of this story while wine-drunk at a beach house, then I wrote a terrible NaNoWriMo novel-length version of it. I burned them. Once I started my Second Better Million, I rescued the characters from the fire and wrote this story. Later on, for whatever reason, I used the same character names for different characters and wrote The Tisroc Series. I’m still a little sketchy on how that happened, but whatever. It’s quite possible that “Ernie Centrifuge” is my very first (surviving) character name, so let’s see what he’s up to. Let’s read!

Review
after reading
This story is kinda cheesy, or corny, or corn with cheese on, which is delicious. I think this is the first story where I just let my love of dialogue roam free and followed it around while it did stuff and amused me. This is a very silly story, but it’s acceptable. I really want to write a series of stories set in “LIQUOR STORE Abaissé, WINE! BEER! (& Spirits). Psychic Reading available upon request WITH PURCHASE!” now. It could be my Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon!

Next Week
Time Travel...Laterally!

Thanks for reading!
feel free to comment

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Science Fantasy Romance 4 - Drugs are Legal, People Ain't


Drugs are Legal, People Ain’t 
SF004
Available at
Amazon.com * Amazon.co.uk
Smashwords
Kobo * Sony * Diesel
Barnes & Noble
DriveThruFiction

Collected in
A Future Darkly

Blurb
In a future where reproduction is strictly regulated, gonzo reporter Daniel Dean Harlan infiltrates a back-alley maternity ward. But will the people he meets infiltrate his cynical heart?

Memories
before reading
This is the story that crystallized Science Fantasy Romance in my mind as a genre. Written in Full Creative Mind--after seeing the phrase “gonzo futurism”, and while ridiculously drunk, and with dim memories of Hunter S. Thompson’s writing style (viz: ‘drugs’) from when I’d read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas—in a matter of hours, then edited slightly more sober to make sure all the hymn lyrics were right (the Scripture was, of course, from memory), and that I hadn’t spelled gwan’ wrong, or accidentally said going to instead. I’m also reasonably certain that this is the only story of mine that my mother likes. I’ll enjoy reading this one...

Review
after reading
“I was gwan’ have to ask her to get pregnant by me, for the purposes of journalism.”
...you know, this’d make a pretty good movie, or a stage play. Talk to me.

Next Week
Ernie Centrifuge, Private Eye

Thanks for reading!
feel free to comment

Friday, March 30, 2012

I'm Just Writing This Down

I did try to avoid this situation, but now a critical mass of people I know have read something of mine, or, at least, know that I do, indeed, write, that I have written and that I am, currently, writing a lot, all the time. Fortunately, this has come well after the point where I’m not embarrassed by what I write. No, not even by the chicken story. I’ve put altogether too much thought into the hard question (“Do I Suck?”) and have answered it for myself. (I’m not going to tell you the answer.) So, when people ask easy questions like

“Where do you get your ideas?”
I shrug, and say: “I’m just writing this down.”

It’s not a stupid question (or, at least, it’s the kind of stupid question your teachers encouraged you to always ask, which is just as good.) and it’s not a flippant answer (although it’s not as dramatic as people want, for which I apologize). When I write—once I’ve removed all distractions and sat down in front of the computer—I turn off the brain-filter and translate the slurry of images that result into words. “The Craft of Writing” is a writer’s skill at said translation, and a writer’s skill at getting the images to queue up in an orderly fashion so they can be translated.

“But where do the images come from?”
I order another beer, cough and reply: “They’re…er…they’re just there.”

It’s a roiling stew of everything I’ve read and thought and felt (which is my life), mixed with my various neuroses, aptitudes and geniuses (which is my experience) and salted with empathy (which is what I choose to call the solipsism of “What do I like to read? I’m gwan’ write that!”) and the Secret Ingredient™ (which is, of course, Sex).

“What do you write, then?”
“This one’s more fun,” says I, leaning forward.

So I’ve got a big cauldron full of delicious stew, but there’s only me as can eat it, so I need to ladle it out into a whole bunch of bowls, depending on my mood. Perhaps one bowl has more gristle, perhaps one bowl is only onions, perhaps one bowl is that strange beef that’s still on the bone and is annoying, and perhaps the stew metaphor is becoming unwieldy. Yes, that last one. The bowls represent pen names.

They’re not exactly a secret, and you can see most of them up there. David Barron writes Science Fantasy Romance; Dave Frost writes Mystery/Crime, off-ball political screeds and all the rants that I know I’ll never publish anywhere; Jillian Nice writes Horror, and is having a wonderful time; Spider Frost writes romances set in Thailand, sometimes in Thai; David Allen Barron writes Literary Fiction; &c &c.

I don’t care who writes what and what about, so long as I get at least two thousand words a day (part-time), a book is in progress, and at least one story gets finished every week.

“How do you write so much?”
“I’m glad you asked!”

David’s Rules of Writing
1. Sit Down And Write
2. Write What You Want To Write [ Dean Wesley Smith ]
3. Finish What You Write [ Robert A. Heinlein ]
4. Get Paid For What You Write [ Harlan Ellison ]
5. Write Some More

“Huh. Interesting. So, what’s your next book out?”
“Hold Your Horses.”
“What? So I should wait?”
“No, you should not. For…”
“Where are you goin—”
“Behold!”
"It's like Black Beauty meets Game of Thrones."
“…why does your cover art suck?”
“Shut up.”

Thanks for reading!
-daB
feel free to comment
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