Nom de Plume, Ruse De Guerre

You may have noticed a certain nomenclatoral accretence hereabouts, and it’s for three reasons...to describe which I have created, for my own amusement, entirely unnecessary neologisms:

Reason the First (1st): Prolifical [pro’lif’eh’cull]

I seem to have developed into the kind of writer who writes a lot. Good for me. I need pen names in quantity as unto the towels that soak up the defrost of the unplugged refrigerator of pulp, to sop up the torrent of words before they cause water damage to the overstretched tile of this metaphor. Mostly, I just don’t want to release something in one name more than once a month. I’m not going to sneak around to avoid that, and minimal research by an intrigued reader will reveal my Horrible Secret, but I think letting a name soak in the ole’ marketplace for a bit can’t hurt, esp. when H2NH starts doing serious promotion. 

Reason the Second (2nd): Genrec [j’on’wruh’k]

I’ve already staked a claim in the gold fields of Science Fantasy Romance...and loving it. But even that super-genre has certain restrictions. David Barron on a book says, to folks concerned with such things, that that book will stay in and around the ‘PG-13’ level, avoiding heavy Politics, hard Sex, and brutal Violence and be a suitable gift for just about anybody who can brave the erudition and navigate the labyrinthine sentences.

That, and not including All That is just best practices to avoid distractions from that big ball of Science & Fantasy & Romance that’s being tossed around. But, as that’s hardly the only orb I’m juggling in the Circus of the Mind, and I want to let the clowns dance: I need to clearly label everything. A fine set of appropriate pen names should conspire with covers and blurbs to ensure that nobody who enjoys one of my books is too shocked by the first chapters of the next book of mine they pick up. After that, you’re on your own.

Reason the Third (3rd): Conveniencen [cahn’veenyin’sen]

It’s just easier to organize things by themes. That’s Science, that is. Not to mention avoidenconfusinsheizen. So I won’t.

...

ANYWHO, since I like making characters, I’ve taken the liberty of splitting myself up into some archetypal voices. Don’t worry, it didn’t hurt. Much.

Introductions all ‘round --

David Barron
writes Science Fantasy Romance, including “At the Mountains of Malapert”, the ongoing Tisroc octology and the upcoming Dragon Aces ‘ivlogy’.
A writer who, by all accounts, is having a wonderful time doing what he loves.

Dave Frost
writes Mystery/Crime, including the upcoming Hideki Oh mysteries and short stories.
A political scientist who specializes (and lives and works several somewheres) in Asia. He takes a rather dim view of Humanity in general, entering our lacklustre efforts to raze the Hobbesian jungle in which we live as evidence. Tends to be rather depressed.
Clear Label: may contain Politics.

Jillian Nice
writes Horror, including the upcoming Horror from the Deep trilogy and several upcoming stand-alone books.
A cheerful naturalist who, between chasing butterflies and estimating the age of rocks, tells whimsical tales of depraved sex, abrupt dismemberment, lingering disease and inevitable death in a framework of utter pointlessness. Seems to be OK with that.
Clear Label: may contain Sex, Violence.

Spider Frost

writes Pulp Literature set in and around Thailand, including the upcoming “Mr. and Mrs. Spider Frost” and other ‘cassava picaresques’* (and some short stories in a language you can’t read.)

Spider Frost is a polyglot pulp writer and frequent drunk who lives in Thailand with his hot-tempered lady Tammy Toom. He writes quasi-literary epics about their madcap adventures in and around Southeast Asia, as well as concocting other quick-dry masses of plot holes and spelling errors. In the finest traditions of pulp fiction.

/*For reference, a ‘cassava picaresque’ is the cocktail you get if you mix the Alan stories in “The Language of Ice Cubes” with my short story “Drugs are Legal, People Ain’t” and add a pinch of Nick and Nora Charles-style antics to taste./

Spider is my Thai nickname, so I’d already repurposed it as a distinctive, easier-to-pronounce regional pseudonym (a la ‘Monkey Punch’). The other names were concocted for effect and convenience along a scheme which I’m sure you could puzzle out if you were sufficiently obsessed, but it wouldn’t really be all that interesting. They match the genre, and I can remember them. That’s enough for me. At some point I’ll commission four ‘pen name portraits’ to stick in the back of books and use in promotions and general communications where confusion could be broached. Such as...er...this article. Now.

No time! If you’ll excuse us, we have twenty books to write.

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The spell of it

Presenting the next short book in the Tisroc series “The spell of it”. These just keep getting better and better the more of them I write:

What do you call soon?

The New Farms on the surface of a forgotten Earth promise to feed overcrowded Megalopolis, but when two workers are killed, Inspector Benji Prajactatorix has her suspicions. She takes her boyfriend (a tech) along to check out a mysterious organic spaceship, but that leaves his sister (a psion) and her intended (a politician) still on the floating city to contend with a food shortage on the eve of Election Day.

A technological thriller with a double shot of humor and romance: The spell of it, a science fiction short novel by David Barron.

Available Now! $2.99 @ Kindle , Smashwords , etc.

Why?

I’m writing the kind of series I want to read. I’m busy, I don’t have time to slog through a series of long books for an uncertain pay-off. When I read a book, I want it to be (c) tightly plotted--that is to say, no filler, a driving plot--(b) self-contained--a story begins and ends between the covers--and (a) fun. The two ways to go about that are (1) a stand-alone book or (2) a series of short books, each with a story that stands on its own within the series arc. This Tisroc series fits (2) perfectly. ...I’ll write (1) later.

What?

What you’ll get for your $2.99 is a great story with some fun characters that’ll take most of you around three hours to read front-to-back. I’ll just point out that that’s about a buck an hour, and I’ll guarantee you’ll read it again, which is more than I can say for the cola and candy bar you’d have blown the money on otherwise. As I said, these Tisroc short books are self-contained story-wise, so you could theoretically read them in any order without worrying about the over-arching plot, but I’d suggest that, once you’ve enjoyed one of them, you start from the beginning and enjoy the character development. That’s your call.

And?

This book took me about 25 hours to write, format, and make available, and I get a little over two bucks for every book that sells. That means I need 120 people to buy it so I’m making at least $10 an hour here, pay for the electricity, beer, wear and tear on keyboards, flowers for neglected girlfriends, what-have-you. After that it’s profit. (If you’re thinking: “But, Dave, $10/hour seems rather low pay!”, remember that a good beer around here costs two bits. I’ll be fine. Also, don’t call me Dave, that’s just weird.)

But?

That’s not really that many people, considering my target audience is ‘the English-reading population of Earth’.

So?

I’m not too concerned. Buy it, lend it to your friends if you want. It’s a book. (Kindle and others have some form of ‘Book Lending’, Smashwords lets you get the file.) I can’t count the number of great books I’ve bought again to re-read after I’ve borrowed a copy, and it’s not like this is my only book. Just don’t go putting it on Demonoid, that’s poor sportsmanship. Also, the ghosts of writers past will haunt you in your sleep, making spooky typewriter noises. Possibly.

Anyways:

back to writing

Tisroc IV “An astronomy lesson” comes out on or before September 13, 2011

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The 5 Things I Need to Do to Become a Better Writer (and Person)

I’ve got a pretty good handle on What to do moving forward in this writing career o’ mine (Summary: ‘Write more, Publish it’). It’s time to figure out How to do all that. Reflection turns up this annoying fact: The only thing holding me back is me. So what’s wrong with me? I look in the mirror, and I see a cool, confident guy with a smart, sexy girlfriend and an...interesting life carved out from the terrors of the jungle. Perfect in every way, you say? Well, you’re probably right...

Just hypothetically, then: five Dynamic Action Plans that would make the total David Barron Experience(tm) better, and thus put the H2NH Publishing train on a well-oiled track to Successtown.

Population: Me

Stop Drinking

(Except Socially)

I’m not Hemingway (read: I’m not a depressed tropical alcoholic), as evidenced by the fact that the domestic beer here is so cheap that I could, if I were so inclined, be perpetually drunk from dawn to dusk with no major financial hassle. Considering that the domestic whiskey and rum (not to mention the moonshine...) is cheaper still, if I were an alcoholic, you’d know it. And I’d probably have been dead or delivered (THAT’S A PUN) a couple years ago.

The main annoyance is that I’ll drink beer just because I have nothing else interesting to do (kind of like people who eat when they’re bored) instead of when I’m with friends or when I have made a meal worthy of alcoholic accompaniment. It’s lame, because I’m essentially spending money to get fat and, possibly, dehydrated (the bane of the tropical drunk) without any particular upside. It even reduces my writing ability except in very special circumstances which I’ll explore in a later article because I’m trying to keep from accidentally sounding like an alcoholic in this one.

I might be failing.

The only real strategies I’ve employed thus far have been willpower (weakened by boredom), going to the store with less money than I’d need to buy beer (effective, but annoying), and not drinking unless it’s raining.

Since around these parts they have an entire season devoted to rain (called “The Rainy Season”), a slightly less stupid strategy for the future will be only to drink when somebody else is drinking with me. Since my girlfriend doesn’t drink (to keep her girlish figure), that should cut out most of my casual drinking. And if it doesn’t, it means I suddenly have more friends nearby. Either way, it’s a win. We’ll see how it goes.

This will be the only ‘health’ change, because aside from beer, the occassional Coca-Cola, and once-a-month vegetarian delivery pizza, I eat ridiculously healthy: Fresh fish, forest chicken, and piles of vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. Combined with my EXTREME Pedestrian(tm) lifestyle, the only thing keeping these extra five to ten pounds on is Mr. Booze.

Delicious booze. With squirrel.

Dress Better

(All The Time)

When I first came to Asia, I had a full wardrobe of suits and casualwear, everything fit and I was lookin’ sharp. But the USA to Asia Diet Plan and the rigors of navigating the jungles (urban and otherwise) have reduced me to a svelte jungle lord and my wardrobe to a pathetic shell of tattered bum-wear. I’ve supplemented it with brightly colored shirts to distract people from the fact that everything I own is two sizes too big, but I’ve got to get it together.

You heard me. I'm going Mad Men on my sadsack self.

If I don’t dress professional, I don’t feel professional. I’m a middle-class fellow with many and more rolls of quarters to my name, and I’m a writer, so I should probably look good in photographs with famous people such as myself. I at least shouldn’t be wearing the same shoes every day. Also, learn to shave well again, even if it’s fun to be one of the only guys nearby who can grow out stubble overnight. I need me some smart suits, and it’ll serve a double purpose of protecting my arms from skin cancer. The obvious solution is to find a tailor and lavish him with cash until he produces a full wardrobe to my specifications and the needs of the tropics.

Write Four Hours a Day

(At Least)

Discussed here

The Word Count Unicorn

Save Money

(Not Spend It)

As previously indicated, I am entirely without flaw, but if I have one pecadillo, it’s that I don’t think about money. (What? You talk about money ALL the time.) To clarify, I only think about how to make money, and I’m quite good at that...but not at what to do with it afterwards. Because I don’t care. It is not in my nature to care about money, I’ll just give it away, or, failing a semi-worthy cause, spend it like a drunken sailor (without the syphillis).

Also, I’ll buy books. Lots of books. Which, I suppose, could be called a ‘business expense’ with enough sneakiness. I recently picked up Kristine Kathryn Rusch’s “The Freelancer’s Survival Guide” wherein she expounds the surprising(?) fact that I should probably have some ‘money’ to run a ‘business’. So...yeah. I’m going to have to learn how to save money, which is BORING. Now that there’s actual Money coming in from Writing, it’s at least fun to count it, I guess. My solution to this one is two-fold: First, I’m going to actively restrict my access to most of my money unless I have a good reason and Second, I’m going to authorize my girlfriend (who’s conveniently quite good at saving money) to nag me when I spend too much (she’s also conveniently better at nagging than I am at ignoring her).

David’s Relationship Tip #11: Nagging solves all problems it doesn’t start.

Get Organized

(Stay Organized)
Most of my success in life has come from my sexy motto: Embrace Chaos, which I should get some sort of visual tattoo of...ABOVE MY HEART oh hells yeah! ...ahem. But there’s such a thing as too much of an awesome idea, and right now H2NH Publishing is a very disorganized beast indeed, without any particular advantage in flexibility arising out of the chaos. Externally, I want to present a more convenient, sexy, and professional face to the world. Internally, I need to streamline my workflow, set up a more efficient and organized version system so I can find everything when I need it, and, finally, establish convenient, redundant backup systems.

The external solution is to get a damn website, figure out what I want it to do, and pay a professional or two to design it all slick and art it up all pretty so as to convey that Science Fantasy Romance thing I do most effectively. This is the Web 2.5, I should have an awesome website to (1) point readers at when they want to find my ever-expanding product list, (2) present a professional face to distributors and contracted artists and other contacts, and (3) because The Internet? She’s awesome. Spider Frost doesn’t want to be left out of the Third Web.

My Thai nickname is ‘Spider’. ...context!

The internal problem is mostly caused because I live out of one tiny netbook, which I call Annette. So all my Life stuff gets mixed together with my Work stuff, and I can’t find anything. Not to mention I’m always worried she’s going to crash or explode or get dropped in a swamp and then I’ll be poring through the backups forever and will certainly miss something. (I always do.)

The best solution is to purchase another netbook, which I will name Harvey, and designate him my Work computer. The benefits are that (1) since he’ll run Ubuntu only and all games will be ruthlessly eliminated, there’ll be no distractions and the unicorn of wordcount will be free to run and play in the forest of speed-typing, (2) easy to organize and backup because only work files will exist and be assumed important and (3) when my girlfriend sees me on my work computer, she’ll know not to pester me with silly questions about her bottom. (Listen, lady: I said it was pleasantly plump. That’s one of the good adverbs.)

Women or men, am I right, guys or gals?

I want to have all this done before the mid-point of 2012 rolls around, so that I can perhaps be fit to associate with Writer Society and go on to obtain bigger and better flaws of fancy while becoming spectacularly rich and infamous. I’d make a Shakespeare quote here at the end, but it would be in poor taste. I’ll give you the highlights: Wars fought, already won, haven’t begun, bless us all...Have Fun. 

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