I don't really celebrate Christmas Day in any particular way. I'm just as likely to eat Chinese food as Christmas ham. Christmas Eve, on the other hand, is my holiday, that time of year when I (and my fellow Scrooges, presumably), have life-changing momentous occasions. It's really quite literary, and rather than write a lame story about it entitled "24 Times" (Man, that's a good title!), I'll give you a sneak peak of my memoirs, expurgated. For the sake of brevity, recall that I can't remember anything before about 2000.
December 24th, 2000
I wake up and realize, clear as a bell: "I've got to get outta here." I watch the
Binary Sunset scene on loop a thousand times contemplating Getting Stuck. Biding my time begins.
December 24th, 2001
re: 9/11: Should I be doing something? Apparently not. But it was the first time I played Halo.
December 24th, 2002
First Christmas Eve away from home (not FAR away). Overdosed on reality, I pace the room in a state of knurd contemplating Injustice. Nothing changes, but I eventually fall asleep.
December 24th, 2003
First legitimate instance of drunk. Good times, good times. My responsible dance with Mr. Booze continues to this day.
December 24th, 2004
Had a semi-lavish party with friends, carefully ignoring politics. Danced et al with a pretty lady.
December 24th, 2005
First Christmas Eve overseas. Ate alone in China, then wandered the streets until midnight contemplating the Nature of Madness. Did not get mugged, did attain enlightenment.
December 24th, 2006
In a decision that has consistently ranked amongst the best three in my life, I decide not to go to graduate school. The other two were (I) controlling my anger That One Time and (II) becoming a Liar (best job in the world!).
100,000 words
December 24th, 2007
In what is quite possibly the most lavish office party that has ever been, what seems like the entire population of a city in Japan gatecrashes the festivities. It is an all-you-can-drink extravaganza which spawns at least three after-parties. Possibly more...
250,000 words
December 24th, 2008
Wandered around Tokyo alone in the snow contemplating Utter Failure. Sleep in a net cafe, wake up knowing I'll be a writer.
500,000 words
December 24th, 2009
Last Christmas Eve in America, the bittersweet tempered by escaping the Great Recession with dignity intact.
1,000,000 words
December 24th, 2010
Christmas Eve in Thailand. It's going pretty well so far, although obviously nobody is celebrating with me (except in the sense that they are drinking my alcohol, which is fine). I might even have to change my profile blurb if this keeps up.
Merry Christmas to all, and to me a good night.
