Saturday, October 16, 2010

I'm Smarter Than You

It is at this point indisputable, and it's taken me five years to come to this conclusion, that I am almost certainly smarter than you. I started smart and I am hypomanic, devoting my maniacal intellect directly to learning more than you could ever hope to know with your mere eight hours of sleep a night. I have read books that are smarter than you will ever be and discarded them in favor of other books that are even smarter. I devote my entire being to the question "Does it work?" and get the right answer every time. I am also experienced. While you were sitting around in your hometown, I've been wandering the world applying my intellect to massive problems and deep cultural issues. I'm the guy they warn you about in genius school: I will always be smarter than you. The next five years of my life will be devoted to knowing this and subsequently not being a jackass.

All that's to say that I drink heavily for the express purpose of slowing myself down enough to associate in a normal way with the rest of you. And I'm still always (always!) the most sober person in the room.


Actual Quote:
071 Drunken Rambling

This has been a good day.

250 words? Yes
Project "Untitled"
- - - -
Reading - "Screwtape Proposes a Toast" (C.S. Lewis, as performed by John Cleese)



  1. I have to be the drunkest in the room, always (always!), or else I'll scare everyone away with my brainweight.


    P.S. I'm farting toward you.

    P.P.S. So drunk right now.

  2. Alas, this blog is nigh coherent! I award it three Nobel Peace Prizes for surreptitious meanderings, impregnable gerrymandering, and overall defenestration. And the "most improved" blog sticker, signed by Finnegan.

  3. Who signs a sticker? Haha! Take that, Finnegan.


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