Monday, December 20, 2010

Lazy Writer Drinks: Thaiball

Well, thus far this has been my favorite post to write, thanks to the extensive research that was required to bring it about. Here's what we're going to do today: We're going to make a tropical highball from locally available materials. Because I can't really put it directly into an existing highball drink name (and because I like puns), I'm going to call it the Thaiball. It's what we drink 'round here, and what I often drink for my more dramatic writing sessions.

What you'll need:
-Blend 285, an "Admix" which is "derived from Scottish malt whiskey, aged for years, and then blended by experts from Scotland." It costs six bucks.
-Some soda water
-Limes, fresh
-A Reason To Drink (I suggest: "I now have all of the above ingredients")

Place ice in the glass, which, since we're in Thailand, is legally required to have a picture of a bird on it. Do it carefully, because nobody likes a poorly built stack of ice cubes, and this also allows you to assess your level of drunkenness. It doesn't take much sobriety to type, so it's good to know how much fine motor control you have left.

Now, pour a liberal dose of whisky. We're going to end up with a 1-2-1 mix, so let the whisky gently caress the yellow stomach of the happy bird. Now you know why it's the law. Take a sniff of the straight whisky to assess the joy that awaits. Often in Thailand, the exact brand and composition of the whisky is changeable, so you should familiarize yourself with all the popular ones. You will find that they do not correspond taste-wise to their price.

Now add two parts soda. Because we're in the tropics, it's important to have a refreshing breeze of soda to go with the whisky. Imagine that you are a British imperialist briefly enjoying his conquest before he succumbs to some native disease. Just think, if you're one of the lucky one in twenty who survive to see England again, you'll be loaded. You damn nabob.

Now, add the Coca-Cola to the top, and squeeze a half of lime juice into the drink. Slide the lime around the rim and discard. Shake gently, let it stand a bit, then drink. Repeat as desired. It's a good social drink, but it also works for marathon typing sessions. You'll know you're done with the story when the bottle is empty. Don't worry, though, it's a very gentle hangover.

A writer never drinks alone, because he's drinking with his characters. If he doesn't know his characters, he's just an alcoholic near strangers. Words to live by, when you live by words.

1250 words? Yes
Book "Lived Too Long to Die"
Short Story "Cosmast Rhyt" - in progress
- - - -
Reading - Why We Love Bad Writing



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