The Loud Music Party
The party where one drinks and dances with girls while shouting over the music. It is best to become adept at complicated hand gestures for these events. Draw forth from the frenetics and latent eros a glorious future, bestowed with all the glamor of the overt. Allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the pulsating rhythms. Later, when you wake up in the middle of the night before you wake up hungover in the morning, apply your experience to a dramatic chase scene or climax. Bring mouth spray.
The Talking Party
A party where you, the writer, can test out all that witty wit and sparkling sparkle that you've been saving up. Don't worry if you don't know anybody's name, they don't know yours (if there are nametags, see below and act accordingly). This is where you get feedback on all this dialog you've been writing all these years. Remember, Mark Twain made more money as a speaker than as a writer. Unless you're a total recluse, you should be able to handle this sort of thing or what's the point of having a cool job like Writer?
The Boring Party
When you are either the sexiest or most interesting person at the party, you've stumbled upon a Boring Party. Steal the beer! And your sexy and/or most interesting counterpart! Run, run!
Any function without sufficient alcohol et al is lumped into the grand term Tea Party. Unless it's of the Mad variety, I'll have no part of such foolishness. Although I will have some of those little sandwiches.
250 words? Yes
Book "Lived Too Long To Die"
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