Friday, January 14, 2011

Things That Don't Exist

In any Alternate History that I write, the reader can implicitly assume that the following things do not exist:

Stargate: The Movie
The First Three Seasons of Seinfeld
except "The Pony Remark", "The Parking Garage" and "The Chinese Restaurant"
Star Trek: Not The Original Series (or Star Trek IV)
except for Q (I love that guy!) and any episode involving the holodeck.
Battlestar Galactica 1978 (and 1980)
"Count Baltar"? What does he do, sell cereal? Quite frankly, that's ridiculous. Give me the real series, where Gaius Baltar is the true hero. Alignment? Lawful Selfish.
Starship Troopers movies
Stop murdering a good book! Three times! Stab stab, twist kill.
Star Wars Episode I & II
More specifically, Episode I and II were stuck together as one movie and then there was a whole other movie  where Anakin got some character development instead of being defined by his girlfriend. Bam! Oh, and James Earl Jones did not shout Nooooooooooooo
Super Mario Bros.: The Movie
as a Mario movie. It exists as a decent generic scifi comedy with a catchy theme tune.
Back To The Future II & III
Damn it, Biff. I only see one coat of wax. And that's all I want to see of you from now on.
Superman III & IV
Oh don't even argue.
Spiderman I & III
except for Uncle Ben. Awwwwwwwwww...
The Last Episode of Firefly
in that there wasn't a last episode in that it was never cancelled and in fact renewed in perpetuity or until it ended naturally gah
Family Guy & American Dad
Screw you!
Comic Books
except Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns.
Yo Mama
She's so fat, she has her own timeline. (Oh, snap! Crisis on Infinite Weights)


Whether this makes it a utopia or a dystopia is up to you.

Hint: Yes.

250 words? Yes
Short Story "The Ambassador's Lady" - in progress.
- - - -
Reading - "Discipline" & "Time"
(Freelancer's Survival Guide)




  2. Hear, hear on Firefly; have you checked out the graphic novels? Serenity: Those Left Behind was probably the best. Whedon had bettter make another movie, or else Browncoats around the world will convert to the Reaver lifestyle and come after him.

  3. Firefly is the one show that I have no idea why it was cancelled. I have yet to watch these DVDs with anybody (young, old, male, female, SF geek, mainstream) and have them dislike the show as evidenced by "One More Episode". It's got broad appeal!

    (I know there're a million graphic novels for it, but I unfortunately have no way to get them at the moment.)

    Futurama would be on this list too, but it's back already.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...